I went for a jog along the Embarcadero yesterday. Jogging and walking outdoors helps me relax. It's a great relief from my usual weekday routine of being glued to my desk and commuting in my car. This week was especially tolling. Work-wise it was my busiest time of the year...it still is. I just have a few more weeks. Personal-wise I had an awakening experience. A sad experience but a necessary one to help me grow spiritually. Some people have a hard time speaking up and are not confrontational. Some also only chose to see what they want to see. Some see only the negative in everything, as if the glass is always half empty. I had become good friends with someone I cared deeply about. This person "heard" about something I said and took it out of context. Instead of confronting me about the situation, she chose to just cut all ties with me. I was able to get in touch with her and tried to clear things up, but after I got off the phone I felt so much negativity. Whenever we spoke or went out, I thought that if I shared love and light, I could help my friend change her outlook and see blessings instead of despair. She was like a flower waiting to fully bloom but has been too scared to go out of her comfort zone and unable to reach her full potential. There seemed to always be an excuse with her...I want to do this, but I can't because of this. I want to do that, but I can't because of whatever reason. It's especially sad when someone you care about chooses to stay in that negative reality. I didn't realize how much I was getting caught up in her reality until the day I spoke with her and got off the phone. I felt like I was defending myself to show her I was a good person. Then I thought, my gosh...not only was I defending myself, in past conversations I had been defending my husband and my father repeatedly with her. I realized I had been listening to all her fears and her victim mentality and I was starting to feel that way too. My true self believes God loves us all and there is so much to be grateful for. How can you be blessed with more if you aren't grateful for what you've already been blessed with? In our situation, I didn't have any bad intentions, but she had already made up her mind about me. I can only think of two things to do in this situation. One, is to be forgiving. I have made decisions that have gone bad and she perceived them as a personal attack on her. The other is to ask God for a miracle that He bring peace to all of us in the most perfect way for the highest good for all concerned.

I felt hurt and very sad about the whole situation. I prayed and wondered what was the lesson here? I knew the lesson as soon as I got off the phone with her, it just took meditating and praying to see the answer right in front of me. I had to get me back to my true reality. I didn't realize how much I too had been focusing on negativity until then. I had been so consumed about being unhappy at work...feeling incapable and not realizing my capabilities. I was feeling unhappy with my financial situation...to be honest, I had been very worried and scared about it, and I even started feeling self-defeat as if I was a victim, why me? I was even feeling too depressed to get out of bed or the house. I needed to snap out of it. I began praying and thanking God again for everything I had been taking for granted. I started waking up thankful and going to bed thankful. I'm focusing again on what I have and not what I don't have. I've also been visualizing what I want, praying and believing that God is guiding my every thought, word and action. I have faith that nothing is a mistake or accident - it's His plan not mine. I pray that this will all mend in God's perfect plan and timing.

So my jog-walk did me wonders. I took the time to enjoy the now and see the blessings in all things.

The sun was already shining brightly and reflecting off the bay. It was early and the city was already alive and awake. People were walking their dogs, joggers and walkers were pounding the pavement, and market vendors were setting up for customers at the Market at the Ferry Building and the Embarcadero Plaza. I'm so blessed to be living in such a beautiful city. Down the block from my parked car is a security guard. I waved hello to him and he waved back with a smile. Seemed like he was happy I noticed him and took the time to say hello. I passed by the Epic Roast House and smelled the grill already burning. They were getting ready for their weekend brunch. It smelled so smokey good!

I stopped to take a picture of the Bay Bridge. It's a people connector that brings people from all over the bay to and from San Francisco. Then I walked to the Ferry Building and saw all the tourist waiting for their bus tours. So nice to know that our city appeals to so many, e.g., tourism, sports, shopping, etc. I then stopped to take pictures of the ferries. One day I'll take a ferry to Tiburon. I heard there's a great breakfast place there. I walked further and noticed a pier full of people fishing. Birds perched on wooden stumps catch my attention. What a life to be free to fly where ever you want.

I then picked up my pace and focused on getting up to Coit Tower. I loved the smell coming from the gardens...star lillies and roses. So fragrant. It seemed like a long way back to my car but I did it. Got my workout and was able to see blessings right in front of me. I'm starting to understand what living in the now means. I am grateful and so will it be.